Assn 8: Leighanne Guettler-James

Fears: Dying alone, losing trust 

Annoyances: Pessimism, rudeness, immaturity in relationships (just friendly)

Accomplishments: Successful student, high test scores, good dancer, VP of Y-Club. 

Confusions: Social tendencies, things that are taboo, what is considered "creepy" these days, the limits of friendships

Sorrows: The struggle of my family/parents/siblings, unrequited feelings for a guy and the fact that I care about such trivial things

Dreams: Living a comfortable life with a happy and silly family, making a difference in the lives of at least the people who know me but hopefully many more, being respected

Idiosyncrasies: Social tendencies and awkwardness, obsessions, inability to filter my speech/blatant and sometimes hurtful truthiness, the need to argue about pointless things/the need to win arguments, insecurity in friendships, the need to be alone with my thoughts sometimes/habit of being in my head

Risks: Telling the truth when most people wouldn't

Beloved Possessions, Now and Then: its always been the love in my family but recently I can add friendship as well

Problems: Regrets and shame from the past weighing me down and making me feel lesser

A lot of times people will tell me that I'm weird or they are surprised by my actions, this is one of the biggest confusions that I have. I don't know if I will ever fully understand the intricate and restrictive routine that most people live by in social situations and I'm ok with that but I recognize that some people might not be. For example, if I someone else's actions are making me feel a certain way and I don't think they intended that to happen, I'm not afraid to let them know. People are always surprised when I come out and blatantly say (for example) "What you said yesterday about black people really offended me." It might be because I'm in high school but it seems that the norm is to push those feelings aside in favor of the decorum or to share your feelings with someone else secretly. This greatly confuses me as it accomplishes nothing. Another thing that confuses and eludes me is the formula for knowing the limits of certain friendships. I've always found it difficult to know how close I actually am to a person and how strong our friendship is. Like are we to sleepover level yet? When does that begin? Should I comfort you when you're crying? When can I start giving you friendly criticism/advice? I do not know the answer to these questions most of the time.