Throughout the world, we have one problem which pervades every facet of everyday life, every small aspect of our mediocre existence: the ineffectiveness of paper towel perforations. Every time you go to get a paper towel, you end up getting half of the next one, too. And then when you go to get your next paper towel, you end up with either a half or some other ungodly fraction of the thing. This is a societal ill, which I believe could be solved, but remains prevalent due to Big Paper Towel and their quest for literal world destruction. Not only is this an everyday inconvenience on our part, but it leads to the waste of hundreds of thousands of rolls of paper towels annually, which contributes ever-further to the destruction of our environment. I believe the only way which we can truly address this problem is if we all individually buy up your local Costco’s paper towel stock and take matters into our own hands- cut perforations ourselves, using needles and scissors, whatever is on hand. Then, we can re-sell them to the paper-towel hungry masses, robbing Big Paper Towel of the profits and forcing a change, making us just warriors in this pervasive and destructive pattern.
"big paper towel" - nice
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